an attempt at providing context.

I just thought I might explain a little bit about myself, so my view of life can be taken in context. I believe it is invaluable to look into the life of the person behind the creations, in order to truely understand the meaning that the creator intended. Without such insight there is always the danger of the work becoming infultrated with the percetions of so many others that even the composers themselves may have difficulty recognising the work as their original.

Even stating this belief of mine, might give evidence towards the fact that my mind is programed with a preference for the gestult. In deed I could give a lot of examples such as this throughout my life, even when it came to the way in which I learnt to read and speak. I am yet to fully understand this perceptual difference, and I find it quite interesting that it appears to actually go against the assumption that people on the autism spectrum fail to see the 'big picture' for their intense focus on detail. This is something that has interested me, however that is a topic for another day.

You also may have realised my difficulty in actualy giving a summary of life events, and getting to the point I actualy set out to share in the first place. One aspect of my difficulties is in the area of executive functioning, something of which is not as impaired in some people on the spectrum as others. It is also a major feature of adhd, and this is where the two disorders can appear similar. There has been debate over whether the impairments of executive functioning actualy differ between the disorders. Another topic I would like to go into further.

Anyway I was wanting to explain where my life is at in the present.

I am....

on the surface- *1

A 24 year old single mother of two girls. I try to do most of the 'mum' stuff as anyone else, even taking my daughter to 'mini musos' and preschool library days on occasions. I go to church on Sundays. I cook, and clean, I even go out for a coffee and chat with my mother at times. I catch up on people's lifes on facebook and I listen to music constantly on youtube.

All fairly typical, right?

dig deeper and you will find a much more complex being...

With a past containing every abuse imaginable, a strong, even overbearing at times, sence of social justice, a mind that is constantly analysing a trying to draw every meaning out of life. Someone who finds people absoltely fascinating yet overwhelmingly confusing. A nervous system that easily gets overloaded to the point of shutdown when taken over by too much input, sensory or emotional, and of which causes me to withdraw for days on end, yet still an over-riding motivation to keep on challenging myself with new persuits, that I may serve some purpose in my time on earth. My time alone is spent in research of what ever has gained my attention the the time....psychology, neuroscience, poetry, nature, genealogy! And to wind down I may watch a Doctor Who episode, or sometimes even just a scene over and over again, the predicatability as comforting to the sences as the motion of my body gently rocking back and forth.

* 1 To give you an idea of how my mind gets sidetracked with associations, when I added this, I immediedtly thought of when I studied geology at school, then went off to read up on rock formations and how they are formed....all those diagrams are so fascinating to me! Then an hour goes by....